I've come to realize that when you're in a truly loving relationship, love songs shouldn't make you sad. If they do, there's something wrong with the relationship.
I wish I'd realized this so many years ago. At this point I feel like I've wasted almost all of my time for the last 5 years and I'm a little resentful. Eventually I'll just accept that this was probably a mistake, but for now I'm just moving on.
I can honestly say that since February 17th, I've never been this happy in my life. 7 years ago I hated everything. And I mean everything. Any happiness that I showed was just pretend so I could get through the day. 6 years ago, I thought I loved someone and I thought they honestly loved me. Truthfully it was just pity on his part, but I thought I was happy. 5 years ago, I began to hate myself because it didn't seem like I could do anything right. I spent all of my time focused on him, trying to make him happy because I thought he made me happy. Nobody should ever cry over another person as much as I've cried over him. 3 months ago I realized that I love me. I think I'm pretty damn awesome. I am a well rounded person who genuinely enjoys my own company. I like being around other people, but now when I'm alone, I'm not lonely. Unfortunately, someone who didn't deserve it still had my heart and had been ignoring/avoiding/not trying very hard to get in touch with me for about a month. Then I heard from him and he still didn't want to see me for a few days. Then it seemed he couldn't wait to get away from me (he said he "wasn't feeling well" when I called him on it later. Sure, like he's going to suddenly start being honest with me. If it was that, why not tell me the night of. Anyway...). Then he refused to reply to any texts/phone calls for the next week and a half (including Valentine's Day) until I finally just went over his house (he said he had pneumonia, but hadn't actually been to the doctor). I brought up ending our relationship since it's pretty apparent he doesn't want to be in it. He agreed, but said he still wanted to be friends. I'm fine with that. We talked on Feb 18th because he had an interview at my work the next day. We exchanged texts a few days later and I haven't heard from him since. I have no idea what he meant by "friendship" because this isn't how I treat my friends, but whatever.
Regardless of anything, I honestly don't think I've ever been happier in my entire life. Despite other crap in my life falling apart, I'm cheerfully taking care of it. The only time I've cried is when Supernatural does something overly cruel to its poor characters, but even then, I'm not actually sad.
Life is fucking awesome and I hope everyone can feel like I do now.
`ChewedKandi has certainly gone out of her way to keep the vector community on the right path. Always making sure that her talents are infinitely scalable, Sharon has put her bezier curves to excellent use, and firmly anchored herself as an inspirational leader. We're absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for June 2013 to `ChewedKandi. Congratulations, Sharon! Read More
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Flirty 
Damn my mother for being right. Again!
And thanks
and i remember you mentioning you wanted to marry him.
but you guys started young.
first loves are meant to be lessons.
rarely, very rarely, do they lead to a life partner.
but of course, there's no way for you to know that,
hence your mother's perspective.
her mother said the same thing to her,
and you'll say it to your daughter too
*hugs*
And my mom only had one boyfriend before meeting my dad. Actually, that guy proposed to her I think and she responded by breaking up with him lol.
I think I'll only say something if I think my child's choice isn't safe. Other than that, who am I to judge? I'll guide, but I wont badmouth them. Maybe part of me wanted to prove my mom wrong like some strange little rebellious streak.
*HUGS!* I have way too much energy for 1am.
these things come with experience only.
there's no book, or advice that truly can be taken.
you just have to go through it and learn.
learn about who /you/ are and subsequently,
what you're looking for.
and that's the hard part; trying to figure out who you are.
yes, i'm sure you were trying to prove her wrong,
now it's obvious what the result of that was lol
everyone's experience is a little different
and how each person handles it also different.
but it sounds like you made it through
with the appropriate amount of pain and recovery
and yes, you are terribly coherent for 1am lmao.
just keep chuggin away and you'll hit it right when the time is right